pointless professionals begin to unwrap their unwanted gifts.

it’s the holiday party and they are all at work on Christ™mas.

the coffee pot falls on the floor of the break room.

broke in room, grab the broom.

the man who seems to always be in front of the copy machine takes pleasure, as most do, in sweeping.

this office is outdated, no one uses coffee pots or copy machines anymore. Bluetooth printers and Keurig™ pods only.

a young man checks the temperature in his house from his watch and feeds his dog with his phone.

his dog calls him on his watch and interrupts the thermostat session.

the man scolds the dog through his phone and the dog ends the video chat by dropping his bone on the tablet.

the screen goes black. no one drinks black coffee in this office. there is no checkerboard pattern linoleum below nor popcorn ceiling above.

the lights turn off when you leave the room and the carpet vacuums itself. However there are some people on the 3rd floor trying to invent a way to snuff out dust all together.

there’s a poster of Rosie the Riveter hanging in the hall and she has a holographic tear drop gleaming on her cheek. employees take small amounts of LSD to get through the day and see themselves, or who they believe to be themselves, in her TearDrop™.

Employees wear Santa™ hats without asking themselves why, much like people who wear cowboy hats without asking themselves why.

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Posts tagged with corporate-workplace-evnvironment

Break room chatter with the algorithm